Mediation Mindset
11/04/25 14:28
In approaching a mediation, it is worthwhile recalling that there are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choices - only choices that may serve your or your client’s objective/s to a greater or lesser degree.
Have you ever paused to reflect on what mindset you are bringing to the mediation - and whether that is the best possible choice given what you hope to achieve? It is important to dwell on this a little, as it is highly likely to influence you in the manner you engage in the mediation and how other parties and their representatives perceive the opportunities for discussion and resolution with you.
If your objective is a limited one - for example, to position bargain, your mindset might be that you should act with determination to pursue your view of a “fair” outcome (to you) - and be more than happy to be seen a “hard” like the quizmaster on a popular ABC TV show. The message that conveys, however, is that you are uninterested in any opposing views and are unwilling to collaborate.
Can I suggest an alternative? Imagine for a moment adopting a different mindset - perhaps, curiosity.
If you are curious, it would follow that you would be interested in understanding (even if not agreeing with) any opposing view. You would ask questions designed to get a much information as you could about the other side’s perspective. They would feel heard - especially if the information was ‘mirrored’. If you were unpersuaded by what you were told it is unlikely that that could be explained away by the opposing party as based upon your presumed lack of attention and understanding of their position. Your apparent interest would most likely would foster rapport and help collaboration. It could become easier to identify opportunities for resolution, possibly quite unexpected ones.
In any event, your offers would arrive in the context of you apparently having considered rather than dismissed out of hand what you had been told.
So, the point is…there is an importance to reflecting on the mindset you will have and how that serves your/your clients need. Curiosity is a candidate well worth your attention. Perhaps any position bargaining could be relegated to ‘Plan B’.
Have you ever paused to reflect on what mindset you are bringing to the mediation - and whether that is the best possible choice given what you hope to achieve? It is important to dwell on this a little, as it is highly likely to influence you in the manner you engage in the mediation and how other parties and their representatives perceive the opportunities for discussion and resolution with you.
If your objective is a limited one - for example, to position bargain, your mindset might be that you should act with determination to pursue your view of a “fair” outcome (to you) - and be more than happy to be seen a “hard” like the quizmaster on a popular ABC TV show. The message that conveys, however, is that you are uninterested in any opposing views and are unwilling to collaborate.
Can I suggest an alternative? Imagine for a moment adopting a different mindset - perhaps, curiosity.
If you are curious, it would follow that you would be interested in understanding (even if not agreeing with) any opposing view. You would ask questions designed to get a much information as you could about the other side’s perspective. They would feel heard - especially if the information was ‘mirrored’. If you were unpersuaded by what you were told it is unlikely that that could be explained away by the opposing party as based upon your presumed lack of attention and understanding of their position. Your apparent interest would most likely would foster rapport and help collaboration. It could become easier to identify opportunities for resolution, possibly quite unexpected ones.
In any event, your offers would arrive in the context of you apparently having considered rather than dismissed out of hand what you had been told.
So, the point is…there is an importance to reflecting on the mindset you will have and how that serves your/your clients need. Curiosity is a candidate well worth your attention. Perhaps any position bargaining could be relegated to ‘Plan B’.
